During these difficult times, laughter is needed more than ever. The coronavirus pandemic has effectively put everyone’s life on hold – and that includes Premier League footballers.
However, thanks to Liverpool’s James Milner, the last few days have been brightened up for us.
First his teammate Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and his popstar girlfriend Perrie Edwards posted a video of them dancing up the stairs of his house, which prompted Milner to respond with an absolute gem of his own.
Having developed a reputation for being enthusiastic about the mundane – largely thanks to the brilliant ‘Boring James Milner’ Twitter account – the midfielder posted a video of him rationing his tea bags which had fans in hysterics.
And on Tuesday, he was back at it with some more banter, posting a video of himself cutting some grass with some tiny scissors which you can see below.
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) March 17, 2020
This is hardly the first time the ‘Yorkshire Figo’ has got us all laughing on Twitter and Instagram.
talkSPORT.com has decided to look back on Milner’s best bits off the pitch.
So, as well as his tea bag rationing antics, here are 12 reasons why the ex-Leeds United man would win the Ballon d’Or for social media posts.
1. The first tweet
It was a strong start for Milner who got us all laughing in his very first tweet back in March 2018.
The ‘Boring James Milner’ account has countless references to the midfielder spending his evenings doing the ironing and the real Milner has clearly taken the jokes in his stride!
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) March 22, 2018
2. A very boring Christmas
A plain Christmas card from Gareth Barry, a pencil, a pencil sharpener and a rubber. These are just some of the presents a very happy James Milner got to open on Christmas day while at Manchester City.
3. Easter fun day
Die hard Milner fans will compare last weekend’s video to what he did at Easter two years ago where he counted all his mini eggs, colour coded them and made sure there was an equal amount of each colour for good measure…
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by James Milner (@jamesmilnerofficial) on Apr 1, 2018 at 7:46am PDT
4. The race is on
Who knew races to tie your shoe laces were even a thing? Well, they are according to Milner.
A picture of both him and referee Michael Oliver was taken during Liverpool’s Merseyside derby at Everton in April 2018 and Milner decided to add more to the seemingly not very entertaining picture with the hilarious caption of “Double knot races are never boring!”
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) April 7, 2018
5. Logo remover
It’s never a good time to score an own goal but you can always laugh about it if your team wins the game, or in Milner’s case you still makes it to the Champions League final.
Liverpool were leading their second leg in Roma when Milner scored a comical own goal as Dejan Lovren fired straight into his face and the ball dropped into the net.
Milner saw the funny side of it afterwards with this hilarious caption suggesting he needed the Champions League logo removed from his face!
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) May 2, 2018
6. Get that suncream on
Teammate Andy Robertson is often on the end of a Milner joke and arguably the best one came when the Scot was rinsed by Milner in May 2018.
On Instagram, Milner posted a picture of a topless Robertson in the sun alongside a picture of some drumstick squashies sweets, which had an uncanny resemblance to how Scotland captain Robertson’s skin goes when he’s exposed to the heat.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by James Milner (@jamesmilnerofficial) on May 18, 2018 at 3:47am PDT
7. The impossible job?
We suspect Milner is not terribly used to wearing make-up but he had a very witty message for his fans when tweeting a picture of a make-up artist applying it on his face in February 2019.
But fans may feel he’s doing himself a disservice by suggesting the woman had the ‘hardest job in the world’ by putting make-up on him.
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) February 21, 2019
8. It’s OK, Sadio
An uncomfortable feud between Sadio Mane and Mohamed Salah broke out earlier this season with the Senegal international losing it with the ‘Egyptian King’ for not passing the ball to him during a win against Burnley.
Mane cut an animated figure shortly after being substituted but Milner was on hand to ease the tension with a genius post that saw him pictured next to Mane while the whole thing was going on…
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by James Milner (@jamesmilnerofficial) on Sep 2, 2019 at 5:28am PDT
9. VAR dig
Apart from coronavirus, VAR has been the biggest negative of this season.
Video Assistant Referees have been mocked by many and of course Milner was going to have a dig himself, providing a reference to a fixture a few weeks earlier where teammate Roberto Firmino had a goal not given because he was offside by a mere armpit’s length.
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) November 19, 2019
10. Christmas message
We’ve no real explanation for why this is so funny but just look at the way Milner stands there next to the snowman!
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) December 25, 2019
11. ‘Origi assist’
Liverpool captain Jordan Henderson’s wife recently gave birth to their third child, and it incidentally came nine months after the Reds’ spectacular win over Barcelona in last season’s Champions League semi-finals.
Divock Origi was one of the heroes on the night, scoring two goals in the 4-0 win and Milner credited the Belgian striker with the ‘assist’ for Henderson’s son coming into the world.
— James Milner (@JamesMilner) February 8, 2020
Here’s hoping Milner keeps on cracking the gags on social media – we need him now more than ever before!
During these difficult times, laughter is needed more than ever. The coronavirus pandemic has effectively put everyone’s life on hold – and that includes Premier League footballers. However, thanks to Liverpool’s James Milner, the last few days have been brightened up for us. First his teammate Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain and his popstar girlfriend Perrie Edwards posted […]